Hey there everyone!
Since this is my first post, I thought I should do a intro of our family for ya. Like I said in my All About Me, I’m a SAHM who was married once before and has 2 bio daughters from that marriage. They are grown and live away from here. I remarried and am married to the best guy in the entire world…I mean that. He’s an absolute God-send and I truly am the luckiest girl in the world to have him in my life let alone be his wife! We cannot have our own children, (I had my tubes tied right after the youngest daughter, who’ll be referred to as Ginger in this blog, was born) and talked about adoption right from the start of our relationship.
Dh (my husband), and the girls (Ginger and Mary Ann – the oldest daughter who’ll be referred to as this – yes, it is a Gilligan’s Island referrance and I’ll explain later) were living “happily” or one would hope, for quite some time….then we were empty nesters for awhile.
Fastforward a few years, and we started our adoption process. We adopted MM (Munchkin Man, but will be referred to as MM from here on out) from Guatemala in 2008. He was 18 months old at the time we brought him home to where we live: somewhere between hope and crazy lane.
MM has ALWAYS had issues (I call them that) since day one. I guess I was in denial and thought he was just “adjusting”…..well, he must have a time adjusting because he’s still “ADJUSTING”!! In part, I was right….he is adjusting.
We “Knew” something wasn’t quite right after awhile because the fits and tantrums were so severe and over nothing at all and the duration of them were so L-O-N-G!! We realized we couldn’t do it ourselves any longer and solicited some help. We got “some” help…but it was only temporary….until the day before he turned 3. Then we were on our own AGAIN.
We went a LONG stinkin’ time on our own….tryin’ with all our might to help MM adjust. Well, we felt like we were failing ouselves but mostly failing MM. That is an awful feeling…..failure, especially when it comes to your kiddos.
I started doing a lot of reading and elicited the help of a counselor in our area. MM Saw her for about 8 weeks. She was a joke. She knew NOTHING about attachment or the like……well, she knew some…I’ll give her “some” credit, but only a bit of it. LOL. MM was actually getting worse while seeing her. I believe it was because things were getting stirred up and he didn’t like it one bit. It brought about more anger…..you see he’s got a lot of anger, mostly towards me. A lot of distrust, mostly towards me. Therefore, attachment disorder makes perfect sense….he clings to me because he WANTS to love me….but he can’t quite get there yet….he can’t quite let go yet. He can’t let go of his hurts long enough to trust me yet.
That is ok…..I’ll wait. I’m here and I’m not going anywhere.
BTW….we fired that counselor and found another that we see for the first time this week….more on that later.
BTW again….The three hour tour is lasting MUCH longer than we expected! LOL…This is a lifetime of growth, learning, and more stuff I was oblivious to. But Oh is it worth it!!
Peace and Blessings to you all……
Mama249
the barefoot dance of attachment 