Apologies and Big Sisters

The very first thing I would like to discuss is the fact that I was absent for a couple of months from the blog. Please accept my sincerest of apologies. It was never my intent to stay away from the blog for so long! I want to stay up to date and current with this blog…but for some reason it slipped by the wayside. Bummer! Every day passed and here and again I’d think of the blog and I wasn’t going to start a post, such as I am this morning…gosh is it REALLY 4 AM?? I’d get a post in my head, and I’d head towards the computer and as fast as I’d get the idea….something would happen to divert my attention and “poof”……the moment was gone. Anyways….I am saying please forgive me for being away for so long and I hope some of you are still “with me” holding onto hope that I’d be back….while there are sure to be others that have given up hope and abandoned ship altogether. I sure hope those who did so, have a moment of clarity and at least once, decide to check back and see that I’m back to blogging! Thanks to those of you who stuck it out and have been patiently waiting for my return. Well….to that I say…..”I’m back , and hope to keep going strong!”

I’m Back!! So sorry to have been gone so long foks!

Now onto more exciting things going on in our corner of the world. We are on a sort of vacation. I am not sure I’d call it “vacation” per se….but we are out of town to visit my older daughters, who happen to be MM’s older sisters. MM doesn’t know his big sisters very well…but he loves them so much nonetheless and they him. These are my daughters from a previous marriage. They live with their dad in a different state, many many miles from us. I HATE that they live so far away from us, from me. I cry so much because I miss them terribly. But I have accepted this as the way it is and am moving forward to be the best mama I can be for MM’s sake. As I write these words in a dimly lit room in the middle of the night (very early wee early morning), my guys are snoring in the background. It is peaceful to me….to hear them sleeping so soundly. And to be honest…..I’m a wee bit jealous wishing that I could sleep that easily! MM is in the opposite bed…..I keep looking over at him……and I can’t help but smile at his curled up body….gently curled underneath the warmth of the blankets that keep him warm. And then there’s myself…wow, what can I say about an over-tired soul anxiously awaiting her daughters arrival this afternoon!?

Come on girls…I can’t hold out for much longer…it’s been WAY too long since our last REAL ((HUG))!!!

I want to catch up on what MM has been doing for the past few months. We have been working very hard on a few things. One such thing is “impulse control” or really the lack thereof. I, too, have noticed a BIG difference in him when it comes to handeling getting upset over small things. He will quickly get upset, knock down the blocks and then builds again. Munchkin man (MM) got his hair cut on Friday and I must mention that he was incredibly MUCH MORE sensitive to those things around him. The scissors were bothering him each time they cut into his hair. The loose hair after his hair cut was ALL over the place. I grabbed a tissue from the opened box and wiped off as much of the hair that was all over his face, chest, etc. MM’s skin is extremely sensitive…hence the issues with his diagnosis of SPD (Sensory Processing Disorder. I remember all too well when MM first came home to us (from another Country), and when we took him to get his hair cut. After I see she was trying to let it grow out for a reason….lol. Getting MM a hair cut early on was truly a nightmare for all of us….especially MM  but ..it was a “necessary ‘evil'” one might say!” I cried every single time I had to hold him down in order to get his hair cut. It was horrible! Dh and I actually had to physically “restrain” him in order to get his hair cut. At the time, we had NO IDEA he suffered with the SPD diagnosis. If we had. We’d of certainly done much better in the encourgement department! As it is right now….MM is MUCH better about getting his hair cut, that is…..until this past week. Every time the hairdresser touched  him…it tickled more than a “normal” tickle, and the loose hairs that were falling off his head were driving him crazy…yep…too tickely!!! The hairdresser had an idea……she took her blowdryer and tried to “blow” the loose hairs off! And, any of you reading this who have kiddos with SPD KNOW that will never work because the SPD kiddos cannot tolerate the blowdryer. For one, it’s too noisy, and another reason is the sensation is just “too much”. The hairdresser apologized and said that she does so many ppl’s hair that it’s hard to remember everyone’s likes and dislikes….but she tries and is wonderful with MM. I really do appreciate her!!

Hey there Mr. Hairdryer…..I will not let you win this time! Oh no! Think again!

Well….I’m going to go try to get some shut-eye for a little bit anyways. Thanks again for hanging in there with me!

Blessings to you and your children

~Mama249

 

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The ABC’s of Us…

I got a hair-brained idea that I’m praying will work…..like a charm as they say! LOL!

What is it you ask? Well, I saw a scrapbook of sorts that you make with index cards in a magazine I’m subscribed to. Their version is called “ABC’s of Summer.” Well, I put my own little twist on it and thought/hope this will help with attachment issues. So, my version will be the “ABC’s of Us”. It’s really simple actually…..You’ll need these items:

  • 5X8 package of blank index cards (no lines)
  • 5X8 A-Z Card Guides for index cards
  • Various photos of your family doing cool and not so cool stuff. Remember, this is about your life….not just the fluff. I added a few of MM making a mad face. I am doing this because this is OUR REALITY!!! The pictures are from Guatemala all the way to the present (spanning 3 years)
  • Scrapbook papers, stickers, ribbon, etc for decorating the index cards
  • Acid free glue sticks and/or double sided tape (whichever you prefer)
  • I haven’t decided whether or not my titles on the pages will be printed from the computer or will be circle dot stickers with colored edging I do myself, but you’ll need something for labeling each photo/index card by their alphabet title…..ex: “hugs” would be a picture of us hugging and being close, sharing the love he desperately needs.
  • Hole Punch
  • Large Ring to hold it all together when complete

I’ve been in the stage of printing pictures (which also allows me time to stroll down memory lane….who doesn’t love that?) to ready myself for the actual making of the ABC’s of Us booklet of index cards. Mind you…..this is for MM to hold, to look at and to see us growing over the years. This isn’t my “scrapbook” for the shelf…..this is an ongoing active one!!!! To be held, cherished and loved (at least that is my hope) by 10 lil fingers and a heart that needs healing.

ANYTHING I can do as MM’s mama to help him (us) heal, I’m willing to do! I don’t expect immediate results…..remember, this process takes time. Time that we must be willing to give…..freely. This scrapbook of sorts is intended for MM but is a tool that we can use to ellicit conversations that in turn bring togetherness, laughter, and sometimes a tear or two! You get my point?

I have 500 blank index cards and I hope to really do an amazing job on this one!! This is so important…..to let MM see we ARE a family and families stick together through thick and thin, and we are ALWAYS there for each other…even if it is just to sit quietly, give a hug, a kind word, and last but not least is to be an EXAMPLE of love for our children.

If anyone out there wants to join me on making one for your own family….let me know how it turns out and if it’s working for ya! I’d be so happy to hear it helped or is helping. I truly feel this will be a blessing for your families as well as my very own.

Peace and blessings to each of you and your children…..

Mama249

 

The Bend in the Road

A bend in the road is not the end of the road… unless you fail to make the turn. ~Author Unknown

 


With God, all things are possible, right?! That is what I’ve been telling myself for the last few days. Why, you ask?

At times, while dealing with the healing process of a child with RAD, and a few other things, I often find myself up against a road “block”…..of sorts. I saw this quote today and thought it was perfect for what I’m feeling at the moment. I WANT to do the right thing, but do I always, heck no. I WANT to know how to do the right things, but do I, no way Hosea.

I’m a clump of clay waiting to be molded…..I need to teach myself FIRST and foremost before any healing can be done. If I don’t know what the heck I’m doing, it’s all for naught. And I’m not for that at all. Not saying in any way shape or form that I have to have it all together all the time….no one is perfect…nor should I think that I have to be. I’m human, I’m a mom learning as I go, on this winding crazy ride called life.

I catch myself doing something that isn’t being the theraputic mom that I need to be…..ouch. I don’t want to do anything that would hinder MM’s healing. I don’t think I am…..but when I feel like I’ve hit this danged road block…..or bend in the road……I choose to keep going. And keep going I will!!!

I keep telling myself when MM’s raging, yelling at me, etc, that it is sadness behind all of this…..he’s not really MAD…..he’s sad and doesn’t know what to do with it. That is where I come in…..to help, to guide, to hug, to love. I need to STOP…..and think…..be-fore I even think of reacting!! And boy is that hard to do in the heat of the moment….when you have a RAD child kicking you, screaming at you, etc. But he’s worth every bit of this……I”m his mama and he’s the love of my life….we WILL get through this…together (his daddy too), this family we have together. FAMILY……brings a tear to my eyes and a smile to my mouth. What we longed for, hoped for, dreamed of. Reality…..we ARE a family…..just not the traditional kind. But we are US…..and I love us.

Peace and Blessings to each of you….

~Mama249

Patience oh Patience, where art thou?

Today I am ashamed to say…..my patience was lacking…..incredibly. MM had a meltdown because of shoes…..simple lil ‘ole shoes. And how did I respond? Definately not how I should’ve and I needed a mama time-out.

DH was there too, so I walked out the door to start the car (we were going somewhere) when I realized my patience was lacking…..and it worked. That mama Time-Out was what I needed to:

REGROUP

REVITALIZE

and

Realized I needed to take a deep breath

before I spoke another word.

Phew….thank you, God, for deep breaths. Thank you, God, for revitalizing me with a renewed sense of tranquility.

DH and I spoke of it later that evening and he said he didn’t understand why I did what I did. I really should’ve explained other than just telling him, “I make mistakes, I’m human.” I’ll tell him in the morning…..don’t want him thinking that I just walked out because I either didn’t care…..or couldn’t take it anymore at that moment, which is what he thinks.

I will continue to use Mama Time-Outs as needed……

I think it’s what the “Dr. ordered”…….a prescription that will not run out…I just need to remember to take it!!! LOL!

Peace to each of you

~Mama249