Somebody pinch me! No seriously, pinch me! My lil guy is STILL in his own bed and it’s almost 6:30 AM!! This is unheard of in our house! My poor lil fella is so scared of his room……especially the closet and the dark…….that he simply cannot stay in his room a full night without calling out to Mama (he always calls for me) to come and get him & carry him safely to our bed.
It is a rule here that he at least has to start out in his own bed….which he balks at every night….then upon waking in the night, he certainly may come stay in our room and finish sleeping in our bed. I spoke with MM’s counselor about this and she said that this arrangement we have will create boundaries….necessary ones….and that she says it’s ok to have him co-sleep the remainder of the night.
It never fails…..somewhere between 12-2:30 am……he awakens screaming for me…..and I rush down to him and scoop him gently into my loving arms and comfort him, drawing him close, saying to him so that he knows he’s “safe now, mama’s here, it’s ok now.” He nestles his head into my shoulder, tucking his arms into his own chest (presumably to keep warm? Or he doesn’t want to hug me? I really don’t know what the answer is on that one), and breathing a sigh of relief…..as if he’s saying…..yes, Mama, I know you’re here now, I’m safe. Thank you, mama.
BUT…..this night…..last night into this morning……he didn’t do any of this. Boy am I a proud mama! He’s either so stinkin’ tired he isn’t going to wake up even if I were on “The Gong Show” and just banged on the gong! Am I really showing my age here with that last remark!? OR…..he’s getting better about wanting to stay in his own bed. Well, I know better……it’s NOT the latter!! LOL!! Here’s why I truly believe he’s not ready for that yet…….and it’s just a fluke…..
We have an elaborate bed-time ritual that starts with all of us (myself, dh and MM) on the couch in the front Living Room and we sing about 5 lullabys. Then he gets to choose either mama or daddy to rock him in the rocking chair for 3 more lullabys, which are the exact same every single night….he loves it. We then move into his room……where he proceeds to start to turn his ankles inward, as well as his wrists, saying (actually whining and crying) he doesn’t want to go to bed, that he’s scared. When I see him doing the inward turning of the wrists and feet…..I KNOW, without a doubt, that a meltdown is going to occur very soon!!! I’ve learned to see his cues and work with him there…..meet him where he’s at, ya know, and try to curb the meltdown to a small whimper if even that. Well, after that, he goes into his bed, gets covered up….and MUST MUST MUST have his feet wrapped in a “cocoon” which is what he calls it, but it is just wrapping his feet up tightly in the blanket. With his SPD issues, he’s a sensory seeker…..I’ll write a post soon dedicated to just that subject…..he longs to be wrapped tightly to receive the extra sensory stimulation. He can be so hot….in the summer even….but he wants that blanket on him with his feet wrapped! We all kiss and hug g’night……then it comes…..he is terrified of his room! Of being alone! That darn closet! The shadows in the room! We have 4 nightlights in his room along with the overhead light dimmed. He will ask (always asks for me) me to stay in his rom until he’s asleep. No problem, right? HA……he takes about 1 hour to fall asleep because he’s so afraid and knows that I’m leaving once he does……so he does all in his power to keep me there for as long as he can.
Phew…..that is EVERY night. I’m glad to be able to be there for my lil guy. If it is what helps him to feel safe….then I’m all for it.
Here we are….and it’s now almost 7am…STILL in his own bed!!!!! Yippee!!!! Let’s cross fingers for this happening more often than not. Huh? Nah, I don’t think it’ll be anytime soon either.
Blessings to you and your children….