Why am I Saying “I’m Sorry?”

Hey there blogger ppl!! I have had a busy week and have neglected the blog. Sorry bout that. This week is full of “anniversary’s” for my family! First is my birthday, and then it’s the anniversary of MM’s Forever Family Day, then our wedding anniversary, which we spent that day in Guatemala in the Embassy swearing that we’d love our son forever and ever, etc….we took those words to heart, and then finally we have the anniversary of MM’s first steps on U.S. soil!! Personally, when we returned to the States, I wanted to literally kiss the ground we were standing upon.

Now, onto my topic…..this was several weeks ago. Maybe even a few months ago. But I thought of it and thought it deserved blogworthyness, is that even a word? MM has serious sensory issues when it comes to going to the grocery store. It is too overwhelming for him. It ALWAYS ends up in a meltdown….ALWAYS. Makes for going grocery shopping a bit frustrating. Well, MM was at his finest….meltdown I mean….and I thought it best to just take him out of the situation and take him to the vehicle. Dh thinks differently….I “won” this time. As I was taking MM out of the grocery store….he was flinging arms and legs all over the place, kicking me, screaming bloody murder…you get the drill. ALL sorts of ppl were looking at us….geez…why wouldn’t they with the scene he was causing? AND I kept saying “I’m sorry.”

 

I look back at the moment….and ask myself…”WHY THE HECK was I apologizing to THEM!!??” They mean nothing in the immediate moment…my son does. I kept apologizing for a behavior that MM cannot “help” at the moment because of his Sensory Processing Disorder…..and those ppl don’t get it…..why the need to apologize to THEM? Was I embarrased? Not really, I think anyways. My son has a disorder that needs my attention…not my apologizing for it. If this ever happens again, and it will, I can forsee that, I will NEVER apologize for his behavior again to ppl that have nothing to do with the situation.

Who is important in this? Me, Dh and MM. But moreseo, MM. I’m sorry MM, I let you down….but just so you know…once we got into the vehicle, I was able to calm him down with kindness and love and some redirection, and we played “I Spy.” I’m proud of MM for being able to come out of “it” with my direction….I have to revel in the small steps…the baby steps. By the time dh got back to the vehicle, we were happily playing and laughing…..he was dumbfounded.

I beg each of you….don’t apologize for your child either. It shows him/her that there is something “wrong”…..we apologize for those things…..not our children!! I for one am ashamed I did it.

Blessings to you and your children….

Mama249

 

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